Why Being Optimistic Is So Hard
A couple of weeks ago I woke up in a funk. Was it burnout? Was it depression? Was it seasonal affective disorder?
Whatever it was, I felt sad and lonely and set out to turn my mindset around.
Did you know that the average person has 12,000-60,000 thoughts per day, that 80% of those are negative, and that 95% are repetitive?
As humans, we are wired to gravitate toward negative thoughts--known as negativity bias.
It’s why we can’t stop thinking about that one critical comment someone made, even though we heard 3 times as many positive comments that day.
Neuroscientist Dr. Rick Hanson says that the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.
"The human mind is attracted to the negative. It’s why we get so caught up in gossip. It’s why bad news is good for ratings. Humiliation sticks with us for days. Shame can stick with us for years. But we are not nearly as affected by the positive feedback we receive."
Dr. Hanson says negativity bias was a survival mechanism for early humans.
“...in evolution, there are two kinds of mistakes: (1) You think there is a tiger in the bushes but there isn’t one, and (2) You think the coast is clear, no tiger in the bushes, but there really is one about to pounce.
These mistakes have very different consequences. The first one will make you anxious, but the second one will kill you. That’s why Mother Nature wants you to make the first mistake a thousand times over in order to avoid making the second mistake even once.
This hard-wired tendency toward fear affects individuals, groups (from couples to multinational corporations), and nations. It makes them overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate resources.”
We can override negativity bias
It's worth cultivating a more optimistic outlook because optimists report better sleep, lower stress, a greater sense of well-being, and now, a study links being an optimist to a longer life.
They're also reported to have greater career and financial success.
Here are some strategies I'm using to rewire my brain
Start your day with a positive thought. My mantra each morning is "The Universe is working for you." Find affirmations that suit you.
Practice gratitude. At the end of each day I look for 3 things that happened that day that I'm grateful for--things that were unique to that day.
Celebrate your wins and positive experiences. It takes at least 15 seconds of focus on those things to "velcro" them in your brain.
Express gratitude to others. Practice noting and acknowledging the good that you see in those around you.
Expect good (instead of assuming the worst). This one is scary. Just this week someone said, "I'm afraid to hope....." Worry isn't a dress rehearsal for catastrophe and it robs the present of happiness. Try expecting the best and see what happens!
Have a wonderful day!
